Alice: Ready To Ship — The Doll That Actually Shows Up (And Quickly)

I keep telling myself I’m not the type of person who impulse-buys a 5’4” silicone sex doll on a Tuesday night, but then again—maybe none of us are until we are.

Anyway, this is about Alice. Yes, that Alice: Ready To Ship. She’s stored in some mystery USA warehouse (probably next to a thousand other dolls and at least one confused forklift operator), and when they say “ready to ship,” it’s not code for “wait three weeks while we ‘process’ your order.” No. They mean she’ll actually arrive in 3-7 business days after you hit that button.

When Fast Really Means Fast

There’s something weirdly comforting about the phrase “This doll is stored in our USA warehouse and ready to ship.” It’s like Amazon Prime, but with more silicone and less judgement from your neighbors if you’re quick with the box cutter. I remember thinking, as I stared at my cart: Will she really come exactly as pictured? Or will there be some weird switcheroo—like those times you order sushi delivery and get… well, not sushi.

Nope. Alice comes exactly as shown—with all her pre-selected options locked in: articulated hand skeleton (fancy finger stuff), gel breasts, gel butt (yes, it jiggles), EVO skeleton (bendy), fixed vagina (no removable bits here), standing feet without bolts (so she can stand up without looking like Frankenstein's monster). If you want fast and don’t care about customizations—this option is basically made for people who just want their absolute sex dolls now.

A Quick Dive Into Details

The specs read almost like an awkward dating profile:

• D-cup full silicone
• 5 feet 4 inches tall (164 cm)
• Weight? 88 lbs—not exactly light, but manageable if you skip leg day only sometimes
• Bust: 32 inches
• Waist: 23 inches
• Hips: a glorious 40.5 inches

The measurements go even deeper than I expected—literally. Vagina depth clocks in at 7.1 inches; anus at 6.3 inches. Someone out there probably has calipers just for this purpose.

Why Not Customize?

Here’s where things get interesting—or maybe slightly disappointing if you’re picky. If you want to change anything—hair color, eye shade, whatever—you’re out of luck with Alice Ready To Ship. She is what she is; take it or leave it. There is a link somewhere (“pleaseclick here”—all jammed together because web designers hate spaces) if slow shipping + customization sounds better to you than instant gratification.

But honestly? Sometimes having fewer choices feels… liberating? Like walking into a diner that only serves pancakes instead of fifty kinds of eggs Benedict.

The Big Butt In The Room

Can we talk about proportions for a second? Because wow—the keywords don’t lie: big ass, big boobs, busty, juicy legs… You get the idea even before scrolling through the photos twice “just to check the details.” For anyone specifically hunting down absolute sex dolls with long legs or that classic hourglass look—it’s hard not to notice how much effort went into making sure Alice looks good from every angle (even the ones you didn’t know existed).

It’s almost funny how direct everything is here—no coyness about what people are searching for online late at night.

That Slightly Offbeat Moment

I guess I should mention—I spent five minutes wondering where these dolls hang out before getting shipped off across America. Do they chat among themselves? Does someone dust them weekly? Feels odd imagining rows of silent Alices waiting patiently for new homes while UPS drivers debate whether or not this package “feels heavy.”

Anyway—

Delivery Day Nerves

When mine arrived—and yes, she did show up within four business days—I had this tiny worry that maybe something would go wrong; broken fingers or weird paint smudges or whatever horror stories float around forums filled with anxious buyers and slightly-too-honest reviewers.

But nope! Box was massive but intact; Alice was exactly as advertised right down to her standing feet without bolts and steel skeleton joints that moved just enough but not too much (if that makes sense).

Weirdly enough—the whole experience felt more efficient than buying furniture online.

Not Quite A Wrap

Is Alice perfect? Hmm, perfection feels overrated anyway—but she does what she says on the tin (and quickly). Customization junkies might grumble; everyone else gets their doll fast and exactly as shown—a rare thing in an age where most things arrive late or looking nothing like their picture.

If you ever wondered whether “ready to ship” actually means anything anymore—well… sometimes it does.

And now there’s an extra chair occupied in my apartment—for better or stranger—or both.