Elana: Cute Goth Sex Doll — A Skeptical User’s Unfiltered Take

Well, Here We Go (Again)

I’m not even sure why I keep clicking on these things. Maybe it’s boredom—maybe it’s just curiosity. Or maybe it’s the way every site promises something different and then, you know, delivers basically the same thing in a slightly different wig. Anyway, here comes another one: Elana, the “Cute Goth Sex Doll.” She gets advertised everywhere lately. And yes, I caved and actually tried her out (don’t judge me).

First Impressions?

Not Really What I Expected

When they say “goth,” my brain goes straight to black eyeliner and moody playlists. Elana… sort of fits that vibe? Her look is more like Hot Topic 2015 than full-on Morticia Addams, but whatever. The main thing that stands out is her build: 5 feet 3 inches tall (or 163 cm if you’re into metrics), with this oddly realistic weight—55 lbs. It’s enough to make you grunt when you move her around but not so heavy that you’ll throw your back out.

She’s got those big boobs (F-cup apparently) and a pretty pronounced butt—definitely checks all the “absolute sex dolls” boxes for people hunting for busty or juicy proportions. There are numbers for everything: bust at 35 inches, waist at 24.4 inches, hips at 35 inches… I remember thinking how weird it is to measure a doll like a tailor fitting a suit.

Movable Joints & The Steel Skeleton Thing

Here’s where things get less sexy and more practical—she has this steel skeleton with movable joints. Supposedly that means she can hold positions better than most people after two drinks (not saying much). You can bend her arms and legs almost any way you want, though sometimes there’s this odd clicky sound that makes me feel like I’m assembling IKEA furniture instead of setting up a romantic scenario.

The silicone skin feels... well, cold at first? That always throws me off no matter how many times I try these things. But after a few minutes it warms up enough to stop being distracting.

The Details Nobody Talks About

Let’s talk about holes because apparently everyone wants specifics: vagina depth clocks in at 6 inches; anus is about 5.5 inches deep (I checked because someone always asks). Honestly—I don’t know who needs more than that unless you’re starring in some kind of parody film.

Shipping took longer than expected—about four weeks total from order to doorstep thanks to their three-week processing plus shipping time math. They do deliver in discreet packaging though; box was plain as drywall mud which kept nosy neighbors clueless.

Is She Actually Worth It?

Hmm… tough question if you’re mentally checked out like me half the time these days. On one hand, she looks good standing by the bed or sitting on a chair—kind of eerie sometimes when you forget she’s there and catch sight of long brunette hair in your peripheral vision late at night.

But using her is… well—it works? Vaginal and anal sex are both possible (that phrase always sounds clinical), but there’s still an uncanny valley moment every single time where my brain does a double-take: “Is this really what we’ve come to?” Not sure if that ever fully fades away.

An Odd Little Realization

Weirdly enough, having Elana around made me notice how much effort goes into maintaining these dolls compared to what advertising suggests. Cleaning isn’t quick; moving her takes planning unless you want awkward encounters with roommates or delivery guys; storing her discreetly requires creativity unless your closet is empty—which mine never is.

Oh—and did anyone mention leg envy? Those long legs make jeans shopping for yourself feel extra pointless somehow.

Tangent: Why Even Bother?

Sometimes late at night while scrolling through other absolute sex dolls listings (it happens…), I wonder who actually writes those glowing reviews with zero doubts or complaints. Because honestly—even with all the features packed into Elana—the goth aesthetic doesn’t magically erase loneliness or boredom or whatever else drives people down this rabbit hole anyway.

But hey—that big butt does look great under certain lighting conditions.

Still Unsure Where This All Leads

Maybe next week I’ll put her back in storage for months again—or maybe not yet.