Joan: Fitness Chick Sex Doll — A Skeptical User’s Quietly Impressed Take

The Unboxing (and the Wait)

Three weeks. That’s how long it took for “Joan” to show up at my door, which—honestly—felt like forever. You know how sites promise fast shipping? Absolute Sex Dolls was pretty upfront about the timeline, but still, every day I wondered if it would actually be discreet. Turns out, yeah, the box was completely plain and unlabeled. My neighbor just thought I’d ordered a new office chair or something. No raised eyebrows.

Opening it up… well, she’s heavy. Not exaggerating here: 91 pounds is no joke when you’re dragging her into a bedroom. (If you go for weight reduction, it drops to 74-ish pounds; still not nothing.) But then again, she’s tall—5’7”, which is basically model height in doll terms—and that makes sense.

First Glance at the Details

I didn’t expect to notice the little things first, but that’s what happened. The tan silicone skin actually looks more natural than I thought it would (not perfect, but close enough). Her boobs are big—G-cup big—but they don’t feel cartoonish in person. More like… exaggerated reality? Her hips and butt are just as advertised: thick and curvy.

There’s this odd moment where you realize her proportions are almost intimidating: Bust 35.8", waist 24", hips 39". She wears a women’s size 6-6.5 shoe—not that I bought any shoes yet; maybe later.

Movements & Joints: Better Than Expected

Skepticism really kicked in with the steel skeleton thing. Supposedly she has fully movable joints so you can pose her however you want (within reason). It works better than I expected? You can bend her legs or arms without feeling like something will snap off—which is more than I can say for some other sex dolls out there.

The joints click a bit sometimes—not loud enough to ruin anything but noticeable if your room is dead quiet. Just something to keep in mind if total silence matters to you.

Functionality Details People Don’t Always Mention

Let’s get blunt for a second—the hole depths matter more than anyone wants to admit when shopping online:

• Vaginal depth: 6.7 inches
• Anal depth: 6.6 inches
• Oral depth: 5.1 inches

It sounds clinical on paper but makes a difference IRL because not every doll gets this right; Joan does fine here.

Also weirdly impressive: all three entries are finished cleanly inside—not rough or plasticky feeling—and cleaning them isn’t as much of an ordeal as I worried about (though yeah, cleaning always takes longer than you hope).

Unexpected Realization About Size

Here’s where my skepticism got flipped around—I underestimated how much space a tall sex doll takes up! At 170 cm with those long legs and broad hips… storage becomes an actual consideration unless your closet is huge or you’re cool with her standing in plain sight.

I remember thinking she’d blend right in under my bed or behind clothes on a rack—nope, not happening unless you clear serious room first.

The “Fitness Chick” Vibe Is Oddly Convincing

Didn’t expect this either: Joan really does have that fitness model look going on—the muscle tone isn’t overdone but it shows up along her thighs and abs if the light hits right (maybe just my imagination?). If you’re into athletic builds with big breasts and ass—that combo—you’ll get why people go for this design over slimmer types.

Also… blonde hair suits her way more than I guessed from photos online; sometimes these dolls look fake until they’re actually sitting there in front of you.

Shipping & Discretion Tangent

Quick tangent—I was anxious about customs and nosy delivery folks because of stories floating around forums about embarrassing mixups with sex dolls being labeled openly or delayed forever by international shipping checks.

Turns out absolute sex dolls handled everything quietly; tracking info updated slowly but steadily until one day she was just there. Maybe luck? Or maybe they’ve got their logistics down better than most sellers do now.

Not Everything Is Perfect (But What Is?)

Couple downsides worth mentioning:

• She doesn’t stand easily on her own unless propped against something.
• Moving her around feels like wrestling with awkward gym equipment.
• Silicone attracts dust faster than seems possible; keeping her clean takes effort.

Still… after all that skepticism? Quietly impressed fits how I ended up feeling about Joan—a fitness chick sex doll who lives up to most of what absolute sex dolls says without turning into some impossible fantasy object either.

Guess there are worse surprises out there these days—at least this one showed up exactly as promised, even if she did take over half my closet space by accident…