Lace: A Tired Blogger’s Take on the Soft Curvy Sex Doll Experience

The Thing About Ultra Realistic Silicone Sex Dolls

You know, I never thought I’d be sitting here, half-caffeinated and kind of annoyed at my own curiosity, trying to explain to a friend (that’s you, apparently) what it’s like owning something as… elaborate as the Lace soft curvy sex doll. Yet—here we are. Life is strange.

First things first: this isn’t some cheap plastic disaster from a sketchy corner of the internet. Lace is one of those absolute sex dolls that actually looks like a person if you squint and ignore your existential dread for a minute. She stands 5 feet 6 inches tall (168 cm), which is weirdly close to my own height, and honestly? That alone threw me off at delivery. You don’t expect a box taller than your kitchen table.

Her body feels athletic but not in that intimidating way—more like she could run a marathon but would rather just lounge on your couch looking expensive. Big breasts, fit silhouette, blonde hair (which I keep messing up every time I move her), all wrapped up in silicone skin that’s softer than it has any right to be.

Getting Into the Details (Because Someone Will Ask)

There’s no way around it: people are obsessed with measurements. So let’s get painfully specific for anyone who cares more than they should:

• Height: 5’6” (168 cm)
• Weight: 90 lbs (41 kg)—not light.
• Bust: 37”
• Waist: 23.6”
• Hips: 39.7”
• Cup Size: H
• Shoe Size: Women’s 6–6.5

Carrying her up the stairs was an ordeal I’d rate somewhere between “awkward family dinner” and “moving an old TV.” She has this steel skeleton inside with movable joints—so technically you can pose her however you want—but sometimes getting her arms to stay put feels like wrestling an exhausted yoga instructor.

Oh right, hole depth details because yes, this matters to some folks:

• Vagina: 6.7 inches
• Anus: 6.6 inches
• Mouth: 5.1 inches
  I remember thinking—do people measure these things with rulers? Maybe someone does.

Shipping Surprises & Discreet Packaging

Here’s where things got mildly annoying again—the wait time is real. Processing takes about two or three weeks before they even ship it out; then add another week for actual shipping (free international shipping though). So expect three or four weeks total before you’re rearranging your closet so nobody accidentally finds your new roommate.

The packaging is discreet enough; plain box, no labels screaming “ultra realistic silicone sex doll inside!” Still—I felt weirdly paranoid wheeling it past my nosy neighbor anyway.

Living With Lace – Unexpected Contradictions

Having Lace around is both stranger and less scandalous than you might imagine. Sometimes she just sits there in my room while I work or doomscroll on my phone—like an oddly silent athletic presence judging my snack choices or lack of laundry folding skills.

She looks almost too perfect when sunlight hits her face in the afternoon; then again, there are moments when I catch myself talking out loud and remember she doesn’t answer back… obviously… which somehow makes me feel more lonely instead of less.

Cleaning is its own saga—not fun but necessary if you care about longevity and hygiene (and trust me, after one lazy week you’ll start noticing). Her joints creak sometimes when moved too quickly; not exactly romantic but at least she won’t complain if you drop her arm by accident.

Odd Reflections From The Middle Of The Night

I guess what surprised me most wasn’t how realistic she looked—I expected that from all those absolute sex dolls reviews online—but how much space she takes up mentally after a while? Like suddenly there’s this constant awareness of another form in the room, part comfort object part uncanny valley nightmare depending on lighting and mood swings.

Anyway… maybe these toys aren’t just about sex after all? Maybe they end up being strange mirrors for whatever loneliness or curiosity made us buy them in the first place. Or maybe I’m overthinking because it’s late and I haven’t slept enough since last Tuesday.

Either way—if you’re considering something wild like Lace—a soft curvy sex doll who checks off pretty much every measurement box imaginable—just know what you’re signing up for goes beyond numbers on paper or features listed online. It gets weirder—and sometimes more human—than anyone ever tells you upfront.

And now my coffee's cold again.