Laureli: Pale Ginger Sex Doll — The Honest, Slightly Disconnected Review

First off: why am I even writing this?

I guess you could say curiosity got the better of me. Or maybe it was boredom—hard to tell these days. Anyway, Laureli (yes, the pale ginger sex doll from Absolute Sex Dolls) kept popping up in those weird sidebar ads and eventually I just… clicked. Five feet five inches tall, red hair that’s almost orange in certain lights, and apparently “ultra-realistic gel breasts.” That phrase stuck with me for some reason—probably because it sounds like something out of a sci-fi catalog.

The details that actually matter (to someone, somewhere)

Let’s not pretend anyone cares about flowery prose here. You want stats? Here they are:

• Height: 165 cm (that’s 5’5” for people who don’t think in centimeters)
• Weight: 84 lbs (not feather-light but not brick-heavy either)
• Bust: 33 inches; Waist: 22.5 inches; Hips: 37.5 inches
• Breast Size? They claim it’s a “28DD” which, if you know bras at all… doesn’t totally compute with those other numbers but whatever
• Vagina depth: 7 inches
• Anal depth: 6.3 inches

There’s also a steel skeleton inside so she bends and poses—sort of like an action figure but obviously not for kids. Full silicone body (and yeah, it feels different than TPE dolls if you’ve tried both). Movable joints are stiff at first but loosen up after a few sessions—don’t ask how I know.

Is she “ultra-realistic”?

Eh.

This is where my skepticism kicks in hard. Ultra-realistic gel breasts sound impressive until you actually poke them and realize… well—they’re squishy, sure, but there’s still that subtle uncanny valley thing happening. Maybe if you dim the lights enough or have had a long day at work—it gets easier to suspend disbelief.

The skin tone is labeled as “white,” though honestly it reads more translucent-pale under most lighting setups. Red hair looks striking at first glance but can tangle pretty easily unless you brush it out every so often (which I never remember to do).

The shipping thing nobody talks about

Here’s something odd—I spent way too much time worrying about the box showing up on my porch with some giant label screaming SEX DOLL inside or something equally mortifying. Turns out Absolute Sex Dolls ships Laureli in a plain, unmarked box that could be anything from IKEA furniture to a suspiciously heavy yoga mat.

Processing takes three weeks before they even ship her out—and then another week before she lands at your door (or wherever). Four weeks total felt like forever when I ordered her during one of those late-night impulse clicks.

Using her isn’t as simple as they make it sound

People talk about these dolls like they’re plug-and-play experiences—just unbox and go—but there’s always more to it than that. Moving Laureli around isn’t exactly effortless at eighty-four pounds; there were moments where I genuinely wondered if my back would give out mid-haul between bedroom and closet.

Cleaning is another story entirely—not going into graphic detail here but let’s just say those seven-inch and six-point-three-inch depths aren’t self-cleaning miracles.

Unexpected tangent — memories of mannequins

Weirdly enough, messing around with Laureli reminded me of working retail years ago—dragging mannequins across tiled floors after closing hours because someone decided the window display needed yet another refresh. There’s something oddly similar about wrestling limbs into place while trying not to break anything expensive or fragile.

Except now there are fewer coworkers watching—and slightly higher stakes if things go wrong.

A contradiction no one mentions

You want realism but also convenience? Good luck finding both in one package here. Silicone feels great compared to older materials; joints move decently well once broken in—but nothing erases the fact that this is still an eighty-four pound object shaped like a human being sitting quietly in your apartment when friends visit unexpectedly.

It’ll never feel totally normal no matter how many times you try to rationalize it away (“it’s just art!” doesn’t really fly).

Random realization midway through writing

Somewhere between jotting down hole depths and thinking about delivery times—I realized how bizarre this whole process has become for people shopping online now. There are entire forums dissecting whether Laureli looks better with blue eyes or green eyes or what kind of wig makes her seem less plastic-y under LED bulbs.

Maybe we’re all just chasing some version of connection—even if it means waiting four weeks for a silent redhead made mostly from silicone and steel skeleton parts.

And honestly? That thought lingers longer than expected…