Monique: Juicy Blonde Sex Doll — A Not-So-Subtle Dive

The Box That Wasn't (Or: How I Met Monique)

You know that moment when you’re expecting a package and you hope the neighbors don’t notice? Yeah, picture that, but triple it. Three weeks of watching tracking numbers and dodging small talk at the mailbox. When Monique finally arrived—this “juicy blonde sex doll” with her absolutely plain box, no markings except maybe a few mysterious dings—I almost laughed out loud. Discreet packaging is real, apparently. If only my own face was as unreadable as that cardboard.

Let's Talk Numbers (Because Apparently Size Matters)

I’ll just say it: they’re not kidding about “big.” 5 feet 4 inches tall—164 cm for people who think in centimeters—and tipping the scale at 77 pounds (33 kg). Carrying her up two flights of stairs? Not my favorite workout, but hey, legs day is important. Her proportions are… well, let’s call them mathematically ambitious: 34-inch bust, 20-inch waist, and hips at a solid 36 inches. I remember thinking, “Did someone design this with a calculator or just pure optimism?” Either way—Monique’s got presence.

Joints & Juiciness: The Moving Parts

Steel skeleton inside means movable joints everywhere—arms that actually bend like arms should and legs that don’t just flop around like overcooked spaghetti. It’s weirdly impressive. There’s something about posing her (for storage or whatever else) that makes you realize how much engineering goes into these absolute sex dolls. Also mildly unsettling when she stares back at you with those big blue eyes while you’re fumbling with elbows.

The TPE skin—soft-ish, kind of cold at first touch but warms up quickly enough if your apartment isn’t an icebox—is supposed to mimic human skin. Does it? Hmm… kind of? It’s better than plastic; less creepy than some older models I’ve seen online anyway.

The Holes You Didn't Ask About But Are Definitely Wondering

Alright—since everyone always asks: yes, all three options are there (vaginal, anal, oral), which is apparently standard now for high-end WM dolls like this one. Vagina depth clocks in at 7.1 inches; anus is 6.7; mouth goes to about 5.9 inches before things get awkwardly dental.

It feels strange to measure these things with a tape measure—but then again the whole experience is surreal from start to finish.

Shipping Drama & Waiting Games

There’s something poetic about waiting three weeks for a life-sized doll to arrive from halfway across the world just so you can avoid actual human interaction for another month or two. Free international shipping sounds great until you realize two weeks processing time plus another week in transit equals a lot of nervous anticipation and possibly some regretful Googling (“how to explain large unlabeled box to roommate”).

At least they’re honest about timing on their site—not every company selling big boobs and big butt dolls bothers with details like that.

Unexpected Realizations (And Minor Annoyances)

Honestly—I didn’t expect the setup process itself to be so involved: unboxing takes effort; cleaning takes more effort; moving her around takes even more effort still because seventy-seven pounds does not sound heavy until it’s shaped like a person and flops around in your arms unexpectedly.

Weirdly enough though… after everything—the weightlifting, awkward measuring tape moments, double-checking delivery times—I sort of get why people buy these absolute sex dolls instead of risking Tinder dates gone wrong.

Tangent About Legs

Quick detour because nobody ever mentions this: Monique has surprisingly realistic legs for a doll advertised mostly by what’s above the waistline. I mean—they bend naturally and look decent under jeans if you ever felt compelled to dress her up (not saying I did… but also not saying I didn’t). Just something I noticed after propping her against my couch one night while vacuuming crumbs off the floor.

Is She “Juicy”?

Depends On Your Definition

Maybe marketing teams have run out of adjectives—or maybe juicy really does capture what Monique brings to your living room she ends up standing awkwardly near your laundry basket for days on end.

Either way—the whole experience feels less scandalous than expected after week one passes and she becomes part furniture odd conversation starter whenever friends come over (“uhh… is that yours?”).

Anyway—it’s hard to say where novelty ends and routine begins here; maybe next time I’ll order something smaller—or just stick with regular gym weights instead of lugging around another WM doll named Monique who never blinks back when you try explaining yourself out loud.