Monnette: The French Escort Sex Doll That’s… Well, Something

What Even Is This?

(And Why Am I Writing About It?)

I’m not exactly sure how I ended up here, honestly. Maybe it was late-night boredom, or maybe just that weird algorithm spiral where you click one link and suddenly you’re staring at a page for Monnette—the so-called “French Escort” silicone sex doll. There she is: tall, skinny, long legs for days. 5 feet 7 inches (170 cm), if the specs are to be believed. I guess people want specifics. Or maybe they need them.

Anyway, this isn’t really a review in the usual sense—more like me trying to make sense of why anyone would order something like this from absolute sex dolls and what actually stands out about it. Not judging (well, maybe a little), but mostly just… curious.

Specs Overload: Let’s Get Real

You ever see those product pages with more numbers than words? This is one of those times. Here’s what stuck in my head after scrolling through way too many details:

• Height: 5’7” (which is taller than most people I know)
• Weight: 95 lbs (that seems heavy until you realize it’s all silicone and steel skeleton)
• Bust: 34.5 inches; Under bust: 28 inches; Waist: 25 inches; Hips: 37 inches
• Cup size C (not too big, not too small—Goldilocks zone?)
• Shoe size: Women’s US 6–6.5
• Vagina depth: 6.7 inches
• Anus depth: 6.6 inches
• Movable joints thanks to some internal steel skeleton magic

It’s weirdly specific, right? Like someone spent a lot of time measuring every possible angle on this thing.

Shipping & Waiting Games

Here’s where things get interesting—or annoying, depending on your patience level. If you decide you need Monnette in your life (or apartment), there’s no instant gratification here.

Processing takes two to three weeks before she even ships out, then another week for delivery—so three to four weeks total if everything goes smoothly. They promise free international shipping and “discreet packaging,” which means your neighbors won’t spot anything except a plain box sitting awkwardly by your door.

I wonder what the delivery guy thinks when he drops off these absolute sex dolls packages all over town…

The Feel Of It All (Or What They Claim)

The sellers go on about how realistic Monnette feels because she’s made from high-end silicone—supposedly soft skin texture with just enough give so it doesn’t feel like hugging a tire or something worse. Her joints move thanks to that steel skeleton inside, which lets her strike poses or just flop around lifelessly if you don’t bother arranging her.

Honestly? I tried moving one of these once at a friend’s house party (don’t ask). It was heavier than expected and kind of unsettling when the arm bent backwards but didn’t break—not quite human but not totally fake either.

Who Buys These Things?

Not really my business—but sometimes curiosity gets the better of me. Are buyers collectors? Lonely folks? Adventurers bored with Tinder dates gone wrong? Maybe all of the above.

I remember thinking during that party—someone must have picked every single detail about Monnette intentionally. Maybe they wanted tall and skinny with long legs because that meant something special to them… or maybe they just liked saying their “girlfriend” was French without having any awkward dinner conversations.

A Bit Off Track Here

You know what threw me off most? The hole depths listed right there on the website as if it were tire tread measurements or something technical like RAM speed specs—vagina depth is apparently 6.7 inches; anus slightly less at 6.6 inches.

Is anyone really measuring that stuff at home? Maybe they are—I mean, who am I to judge—but still feels odd seeing it spelled out next to shoe size and bust circumference.

One Unexpected Thing

Despite being mentally checked out writing this whole thing, there is one thing about Monnette—and these absolute sex dolls in general—that sticks with me longer than expected: someone somewhere put real effort into making an object as close as possible to their idea of perfection… even if perfection looks different for everyone else.

Maybe that says more about us than about Monnette herself.

Anyway—if you’re looking for discreet shipping on a five-foot-seven French escort doll who’ll never ghost you after dinner plans fall apart again… well now you know where to look. Or not—it’s up to you really.

And now my brain needs a break from thinking about articulated elbows and silicone skin textures for awhile...