Remi: After School Sex Doll — The Kind of Review I Never Thought I’d Write

The Setup (and the Odd Reality)

There’s a point in your life where you’re sitting at your laptop, half-empty mug of coffee (cold), and you realize you’re writing about a full silicone sex doll named Remi. She’s 5 feet 6 inches tall, apparently. That’s 167 cm if you care for the metric side of things. Me? I just keep glancing over at my inbox hoping there isn’t another “urgent” email from my boss.

Anyway—Remi. It’s weirdly specific, this whole experience. You scroll through absolute sex dolls and suddenly you’re reading about a doll with long legs, blonde hair, and measurements that make mannequins jealous: Bust is 33 inches, waist is 20.6, hips are nearly 38 inches. Not sure why that sticks in my head but it does.

First Glance vs Actual Experience

When the box arrived (plain as drywall—no labels or anything), I almost didn’t open it right away. There’s something surreal about seeing a big anonymous package on your porch and knowing what’s inside but also… not quite wanting to face it yet.

Four weeks waiting, then boom: she’s here. Heavy too—75 lbs or so (34 kg). Lifting her out was more awkward than I expected; not heavy like gym weights, but heavy like carrying an oversized toddler who won’t cooperate.

The skin feels like actual skin in a way that kind of messes with your brain if you think too much about it—full silicone everywhere, which means cleaning is easy enough but also means she gets cold fast if the room is chilly.

Details Nobody Warned Me About

I kept thinking about the hole depth thing because they actually list it: vagina is just under 8 inches deep, anus is 6 inches deep. Not sure how to bring that up in casual conversation (not that I would), but there it is.

Evo skeleton included—which sounds futuristic but really just means her joints move more naturally than some cheaper models out there. She’ll hold a pose pretty well; sometimes better than me after sitting at my desk all day.

One thing though—the costume in those photos? Not included. Found out the hard way when nothing but bubble wrap fell out of the box.

The Cheap Thing Isn’t Always Cheap

Price-wise? For an absolute sex doll this size with these features—a little on the cheap side for what you get honestly (I’ve looked around). Free international shipping helps too; no hidden fees or weird customs nonsense to deal with later on.

But cheap doesn’t mean low quality here—it just means less markup or maybe fewer middlemen involved? Either way: silicone feels real enough for anyone looking for realism without breaking their bank account completely.

A Tangent About Long Legs

Quick detour—I remember thinking back in high school how long legs were always hyped up by magazines and TV shows and whatever else passed for culture back then. Remi has them in spades; they go on forever compared to most dolls I’ve seen online (or offline… which isn’t many).

It makes posing her easier somehow; clothes fit better too if you ever bother dressing her up (again—not judging).

Shipping & Waiting Games

Waiting four weeks felt longer than it should have—three weeks processing plus one week shipping—but tracking updates helped pass time between work deadlines and late-night scrolling sessions.

Discreet packaging was actually discreet this time around—no embarrassing run-ins with neighbors or delivery guys giving me weird looks.

Things Left Unsaid

There are probably details people want to know that I haven’t covered because honestly my brain checks out halfway through these reviews lately. Maybe that’s okay though—sometimes raw impressions say more than any checklist ever could.

If someone asked me whether Remi was worth it? Maybe depends what “worth” even means anymore—but she does exactly what she says on the tin, nothing less or more. And sometimes that's...enough?

I’ll leave it there before I talk myself into another tangent about modern loneliness or whatever else keeps people buying absolute sex dolls at midnight on a Tuesday night.