Tommie: Bachelorette Party Sex Doll – A Skeptical User’s Take

If you’d told me a year ago I’d be writing about a 5-foot-9, thick and curvy E-cup sex doll named Tommie, I would’ve laughed.

Or maybe rolled my eyes. Yet here we are—because apparently, bachelorette parties have gotten... ambitious? And someone in my friend group decided that the only way to “make memories” was to order an absolute sex doll from the internet. Not just any doll—Tommie. The tall, tan, blonde one with legs that go on forever and a box so discreet it could hold state secrets.

The Unboxing (And Immediate Regret)

The packaging really is plain. Like, suspiciously plain. No labels, no branding—just this huge box sitting in my living room for three days because nobody wanted to open it first. Eventually I caved (peer pressure is real), half-expecting some cartoonish disaster inside. Instead: Tommie, all 85 pounds of her silicone glory, folded up like a yoga prodigy.

Her steel skeleton makes her joints moveable but also oddly stiff—she creaks if you bend her too quickly. Not exactly lifelike but not floppy either; somewhere between mannequin and robot roommate who doesn’t talk back.

Measurements That Make You Double-Take

I guess people care about numbers? Here goes:

• Height: 176 cm (that’s 5’9”, taller than most of us at the party)
• Weight: 85 lbs (dragging her up stairs = nightmare)
• Bust: 36.8 inches
• Waist: 25 inches
• Hips: nearly 40 inches
• Cup size? E. Yes, seriously.

She wears a women’s size 6 shoe but good luck finding footwear that fits silicone feet exactly right.

Honestly—I kept thinking, who needs these proportions? It’s almost cartoonish but then again...maybe that’s the point?

Functionality (Because Someone Had To Check)

Yes, vaginal, anal and oral sex are all possible with Tommie—the product page repeats this more than once as if people might forget why they’re buying an absolute sex doll in the first place. For those detail-oriented types:

• Vagina depth: just under seven inches
• Anus depth: basically the same
• Mouth depth: five inches

Not sure what else to say here except...it’s thorough? The engineering team must have had interesting meetings.

Real Talk About Bachelorette Parties

Here’s where things get weirdly honest—I didn’t expect Tommie to become part of our night beyond being a prop for photos or bad jokes about big breasts or long legs or whatever else people fixate on when they see something this over-the-top.

But after some drinks she became almost like another guest—a silent one who got dressed up in feather boas and sunglasses and posed by the cake table while everyone giggled awkwardly. Nobody used her for anything explicit (thank god), though there were plenty of crude suggestions floating around as jokes.

It was sort of fun until someone tried to dance with her and nearly dislocated their shoulder because she weighs more than expected and moves like an uncooperative action figure.

Shipping & Waiting Games

Three weeks felt like forever when you’re waiting on something this ridiculous—and yes, shipping is free internationally if you’re wondering—but honestly I spent most of that time dreading what would show up at my door rather than looking forward to it.

Discreet packaging is nice until your neighbor asks what you ordered that needed two delivery guys and a dolly cart.

Unexpected Downsides & Random Thoughts

You don’t think about storage until after the party ends and suddenly there’s nowhere to put a life-sized hybrid silicone woman with big boobs staring blankly into space from your closet corner.

Also—the tan skin looks less natural in daylight than online photos suggest; she glows slightly orange under certain lamps which made me laugh unexpectedly hard at midnight while trying not to wake anyone up.

Another thing nobody warned us about? Her hair sheds everywhere if you brush it wrong. Blonde strands stuck to everything for days afterward; still finding them now actually...

Would I Do This Again?

I mean—it was memorable? If your goal is shock value or just need an excuse for endless bachelorette party jokes about legs skin bombshells., then fine…Tommie delivers all that and more (sometimes too much).

But next time maybe let someone else order—and store—it afterwards because honestly…what do you even do with an absolute sex doll after the confetti settles?

Weird world we live in now.