Wilder: Ready To Ship (And Honestly, She’s Got More Features Than My Last Apartment)

The “Ready to Ship” Thing Is Weirdly Satisfying

There’s this odd thrill in seeing those words: This doll is ready to ship. Like, you’re not just browsing some endless grid of “ships in 4-6 weeks” or “custom order only.” No. Wilder is—well, she’s just sitting there. Ready. You click the button and boom, she’ll ship in 1-2 business days after your order is placed. I don’t know why that feels like a small victory over the universe, but it does.

I remember thinking how rare it is for anything (especially something as detailed as a sex doll) to be actually available now, not later. It almost made me suspicious—like, what’s the catch? But no. She comes exactly as pictured with all her pre-selected features.

EVO Skeleton and Other Stuff That Sounds Like Sci-Fi

Let’s talk about features for a second because… wow. EVO skeleton (apparently that means more flexible), gel breast & buttocks (squishier than expected), articulated hand skeleton (tiny robot hands?), standing feet (she stands better than I do before coffee). There’s even realistic body painting and a movable jaw—for enhanced oral sex experience.

Yeah, I read that twice too.

Honestly, half these details sound like they belong on some next-gen android rather than a doll you can buy now from absolute sex dolls or wherever you end up shopping. Maybe this is just what 2024 looks like—robots with built-in vaginas that arrive faster than my Amazon orders.

Size Matters (Sort Of)

She’s five feet tall (153 cm). Not intimidatingly tall—not weirdly short either; somewhere right in the uncanny valley of “almost real person.” At 68 lbs (30.8 kg), moving her isn’t exactly effortless but also not an Olympic event either unless your stairs are particularly mean.

Measurements? Bust: 31.5 inches; under bust: 26.4 inches; waist: 22.8 inches; hips: 34.1 inches—honestly reading those numbers out loud makes me feel like I’m describing some rare collectible action figure instead of… well… you know.

But yeah—the proportions are skinny-ish with small breasts (B-cup) and blonde hair on silicone skin that somehow manages to look less plastic-y than expected.

Hole Depths & The Awkward Pause

Okay—this part always gets glossed over in most reviews but let’s not pretend we aren’t here for specifics: vagina depth clocks in at seven inches, anus at six, oral at four inches deep thanks to that movable jaw thing I mentioned earlier.

It feels clinical writing about it but also—it matters? People want details before they spend money on something this personal and expensive and honestly so did I when I was scrolling through absolute sex dolls late at night pretending it was just curiosity research.

Random Realization While Moving Her

Quick tangent—I tried carrying her up my apartment stairs once and had this flashback to every time Ikea furniture has betrayed me mid-lift. Except this time there were limbs involved instead of table legs and somehow it felt both more awkward and less painful? Hard to explain unless you’ve done it yourself—which maybe says more about my life choices than anything else.

Still though—her steel skeleton with movable joints actually helps when repositioning her or propping her against things for storage or whatever else people do (not judging).

Paint Details & That Odd Sense of Realism

The body painting is… weirdly good? Like sometimes you catch yourself glancing over expecting seams or obvious joins but they’re mostly hidden by careful shading or sculpting tricks I still don’t totally understand.

I guess if realism matters—and for lots of people it absolutely does—then Wilder doesn’t disappoint much here either. Even the little touches around elbows feel deliberate instead of last-minute afterthoughts.

Why Does This Feel Less Awkward Than Expected?

Maybe because everything about buying Wilder—from clicking “ready to ship” to unboxing an actual full silicone sex doll—is already absurd enough that embarrassment sort of evaporates along the way?

Or maybe because these things have become so common online nobody really bats an eye anymore except your delivery guy who probably sees weirder stuff every week anyway.

Anyway—I thought having something show up exactly as pictured would feel cold or impersonal but honestly there was relief mixed in too: no surprises, no weird color mismatches or missing parts; just a B-cup silicone companion who kind of looks back at you if you let yourself believe hard enough.

And then suddenly you realize—you spent an entire evening researching hole depths on absolute sex dolls instead of watching Netflix again for the third night straight—

Well, never mind.