Elva-S: Ready To Ship (But Not Quite How You’d Think)

I guess I should start by saying—yeah, I’ve spent an embarrassing amount of time reading about sex dolls.

Don’t judge, it’s 2024 and at this point, curiosity wins over awkwardness. Anyway, when you see something like “Elva-S: Ready To Ship,” the first thing that pops into your head is probably speed. Like—bam, order today and she’s on your doorstep before your next Amazon impulse buy even clears customs.

Except… it’s not that simple.

The Shipping Thing (And That Weird Body Situation)

Here’s the bit that tripped me up: This doll is ready to ship. She’ll go out in 1-2 business days after you place your order. But—and here comes the part nobody really mentions until you dig through the fine print—the head ships separately from the body.

Yeah. You get two boxes. One for her body, one for her head. It feels kind of odd picturing it? Like some Frankenstein starter kit for lonely people or collectors or whoever buys these things (insert self-deprecating laugh here). I remember thinking it would be all-in-one, but apparently not.

Pre-Selected Features: No Surprises

You know how some sites let you pick every little detail? Hair color, eye shade, whatever else? Not with Elva-S. She comes exactly as pictured—full silicone body with Real Skin Texture Gel breast & buttocks (that phrase alone…), implanted synthetic hair just like in the photos, articulated hand skeletons (which honestly sounds more sci-fi than sexy), standing feet without bolts—so she stands but doesn’t look like a cyborg from the ankles down.

There’s realistic body painting too—I mean they say “realistic” but I’ve seen enough promo shots to know lighting does half the work—and a movable jaw for an enhanced oral sex experience. Built-in vagina (not removable) and EVO skeleton which is supposed to make her move more naturally. Oh right: weight reduction so she doesn’t feel like deadlifting a small fridge every time you want to move her around.

Petite But Kind Of Heavy

Here’s where my skepticism kicks in again. They call Elva-S a petite C-cup sex doll—4 feet 11 inches tall (150 cm). On paper that sounds tiny… then you see she weighs 47 lbs (21.5 kg). Try picking up something that heavy shaped vaguely like a person and carrying it upstairs without pulling something vital in your back.

Absolute Sex Dolls claims this is “lightweight.” Maybe compared to other silicone dolls? Still feels like gym day if you’re not careful.

Numbers That Stick Out

I don’t usually memorize measurements but these stuck with me after scrolling past them five times:

• Height: 4’11”
• Bust: 27.4”
• Waist: 19.3”
• Hips: 32.5”
• Cup Size: C
• Shoe Size US Women’s ~1.5

That last one made me stop—a size 1.5 shoe is basically child-sized? Makes sense if you want a young look but also… yeah, there are some weird vibes here depending on what you’re into or what makes you uncomfortable.

Hole depth stats are listed too: Vagina: 6.7”, Anus: 6.6”, Mouth: 5.1”. There’s no delicate way to put this—they measure everything because people want to know exactly what they’re getting into (literally).

Experience vs Expectation

Not gonna lie—I expected maybe more customization options or at least a less clinical description from absolute sex dolls about their ready-to-ship lineup, especially since Elva-S falls under keywords like ‘brunette’, ‘petite’, ‘hybrid’, ‘teen’, and ‘young’. The real skin textures do sound interesting though; supposedly better than older models with painted-on details that fade after six months or so.

Still—the whole “she will ship in two boxes” thing threw me off more than anything else did during my research spiral.

Something Odd About It All

At one point I got distracted looking up EVO skeletons for dolls instead of humans (don’t ask why), which led down another rabbit hole about standing feet technology and whether bolts actually matter if nobody sees them under socks anyway.

It’s weird how much tech goes into making these things seem real while also keeping them slightly uncanny valley-ish no matter how many features they add—from gel-filled breasts to movable jaws and realistic painting techniques copied from movie FX studios.

Would I Buy?

Quick answer? Probably not for myself—but only because moving almost fifty pounds of silicone isn’t on my bucket list right now and honestly those separate shipments would stress me out waiting for both boxes to arrive safely without any awkward delivery mishaps involving neighbors peeking over fences or porch cameras catching unmarked packages labeled “adult novelty.”

But hey—if someone wants a petite silicone sex doll shipped fast with all features pre-selected so there’s zero decision fatigue… Elva-S might actually check those boxes surprisingly well.

Anyway—I still think about that shoe size sometimes.