Lucia: Sexy Punk Sex Doll – A Quietly Impressed (and Slightly Ironic) Dive

Right, let’s just get this out of the way: I didn’t expect to be writing about a punk sex doll named Lucia.

Yet here we are. Absolute Sex Dolls sent her over—well, they shipped her, which is different—and after three weeks of waiting (yes, exactly three), she arrived in a box so nondescript that even my nosiest neighbor could only guess it was maybe… a standing lamp? Or possibly a large, suspicious pillow.

The Punk Attitude in Silicone

Lucia isn’t your average “bedroom companion.” She’s got attitude. The kind you’d expect from someone who might’ve smoked behind the gym in high school and told you off for staring too long. Her F-cup chest is… well, let’s say it’s not subtle. 38 inches up top, 20 at the waist, then 36 at the hips—those numbers look like something out of an old comic book ad for “the perfect woman,” except now she’s made of TPE and has a steel skeleton underneath.

I kept thinking: does having movable joints make her more punk or just more practical? Maybe both. You can pose her pretty much any way you want—she’ll hold that sneer or smirk as long as you need.

Functionality Meets Odd Fascination

There are certain specifics people ask about with these dolls (I know because my DMs blew up when folks found out I was reviewing one). Here’s what stood out:

• Vaginal & Anal Depth: Both go to 6.7 inches—which sounds technical until you realize how precise that actually is.
• Mouth: 5.1 inches deep; honestly not sure if that says more about design or ambition.
• Height & Weight: At 5 feet 4 inches tall and weighing 77 lbs (33 kg), Lucia is… heavy enough to remind you she’s there when you try to move her around, but not so much that it feels like wrestling an actual person.

Absolute Sex Dolls clearly thought through these details—or maybe overthought them? Hard to tell sometimes where engineering ends and fantasy begins.

Delivery Drama (Or Lack Thereof)

Shipping was free and international. That felt surprisingly generous for something this niche (or maybe it isn’t so niche anymore?). Processing takes two weeks; shipping another week; total = three weeks sitting there wondering if customs will call your mom by mistake.

When Lucia finally landed on my doorstep, the packaging was plain enough to make me doubt myself for a second—had I actually ordered new speakers? Nope.

Tangent: Athleticism in Unexpected Places

Here’s something weird—I noticed after unboxing her that Lucia has this athletic vibe going on beneath all the punk styling. Might be the way those joints work or just how balanced she looks standing up against my dresser. She doesn’t slouch unless you want her to slouch—a trait some humans could learn from.

I remember thinking: huh, even sex dolls have better posture than me lately.

Not All Glamour

Let’s be real for a second; maintaining Lucia takes time. Cleaning each part—yes, all three—is necessary unless you want things getting awkward fast. The TPE material feels eerily lifelike but also picks up lint like nobody's business if you're not careful with storage.

And moving her around? That steel skeleton means she bends but doesn’t always cooperate smoothly—a reminder that no matter how human-like these absolute sex dolls get, they’re still objects at their core.

One Last Thing Before I Forget

You ever stare at something so long it stops looking sexy and starts looking slightly surreal? That happened by day four with Lucia propped up next to my bookshelf wearing Doc Martens and nothing else. It became less about “wow” and more about “huh.” Still quietly impressed though… which is probably saying something odd about modern loneliness or desire or whatever—but anyway—

That box is still sitting in my garage because I can’t bring myself to throw it away yet. Maybe that's telling too?