Mathilde: The French Bikini Model Sex Doll (A Weirdly Honest Look)

I’m not even sure why I agreed to write about this—maybe it’s curiosity, or boredom, or just the sheer absurdity of the whole thing.

Anyway, here’s what happened when I got up close (not that close) with Mathilde, a French bikini model sex doll from Absolute Sex Dolls. Yeah, that’s really her “job description.” And yes, she’s got all the… features.

The Whole “French Bikini Model” Thing

It’s kind of wild how specific these dolls get. You’d think “sex doll” would be enough but no—Mathilde is apparently a full-on French bikini model. She clocks in at 5 feet 4 inches (164 cm), which is basically average human height (not that I measured her against myself or anything). Her body? Let’s just say if you’re into big boobs and big butts—well, you’ll notice both right away. The F-cup thing isn’t an exaggeration; it actually looks like someone just dialed up every curve on a computer screen until they hit “maximum.”

Sometimes I wonder who picks these proportions. Like: bust 32 inches, waist 23 inches, hips 40.5 inches? It almost sounds made up until you see them in silicone and steel.

Movable Joints & That Steel Skeleton

Here’s where things get oddly technical. Underneath all the squishy silicone (which feels weirdly real and also not-real at the same time), there’s a full steel skeleton with joints that move pretty much everywhere you’d want them to. Arms bend, legs splay, head turns—all of it. Setting up a pose takes more effort than expected though; she weighs over ninety pounds (92.6 lbs/42 kg). Not exactly something you toss around casually.

One time I tried to sit her on my couch for photos and nearly pulled my back out because she flopped over halfway through like an exhausted toddler after daycare.

All About Those Details

Let’s talk details—the stuff people pretend not to care about but absolutely google late at night: hole depth. Mathilde has a vagina depth of 7.1 inches and anal depth of 6.3 inches (yep, they measure everything). Vaginal and anal sex are possible because that’s sort of the point here.

But honestly? There was something almost clinical about reading those numbers off the site while looking at this blank-eyed silicone woman sitting across from me in my living room.

Shipping & Waiting Games

The logistics part surprised me more than anything else—free international shipping is nice but don’t expect instant gratification here. Processing takes three weeks plus another week for shipping so… four weeks total if nothing goes wrong along the way.

And yeah—the box is totally plain and unmarked when it arrives (“discreet packaging”). No one will know unless your neighbor sees you wrestling a suspiciously human-sized package into your apartment hallway at noon on a Tuesday.

A Little Tangent About Realism

There was this moment where I caught myself staring at her long legs (they’re actually pretty impressive?) thinking about how far technology has come—or maybe how far we’ve fallen, depending on your mood—for someone to engineer realistic toes and knees out of silicone for strangers worldwide.

It made me laugh for some reason—like what would my high school math teacher have thought if he knew his old student would one day review a French bikini model sex doll?

Is It Worth It?

(Or Just Weird?)

Honestly—I can’t tell anyone whether buying Mathilde makes sense or not because everyone draws their own lines somewhere between “curiosity” and “what am I doing with my life?” If you want big breasts, long legs, juicy curves—all sculpted in full silicone with movable joints—she checks every box absolute sex dolls could possibly dream up.

But then again… sometimes having perfection sitting silently in your apartment feels stranger than any flaw ever could.

Anyway—I guess some questions don’t have neat answers.