Mansion Party Sex Doll in London: The Oddest Conversation Starter

There’s a certain point at every mansion party in London where things get—well, not weird exactly, but you know.

Surreal. Like, when you see someone wheeling in what is very obviously a sex doll and nobody bats an eye? That happened. I remember thinking: is this just my life now? Anyway.

Not Your Average Plus-One

I’d seen plenty of absolute sex dolls online (don’t judge me; the ads are everywhere), but up close? Different energy altogether. This one was a “Fantasy C-Cup Silicone Sex Doll,” 5 feet 4 inches tall—so, basically, taller than half the people on the guest list. Blonde hair, silicone skin that’s... honestly too realistic if you catch it out of the corner of your eye at 2am.

The owner kept bragging about her EVO Skeleton (which sounds like something from a Marvel movie but apparently means she can bend into almost any position). Her measurements were rattled off like stats for a racehorse:

• Bust: 33.9 inches
• Underbust: 27.6
• Waist: 24
• Hips: 36.2

I didn’t ask about hole depth but got told anyway—vagina is 7.1 inches deep, anus is 5.5 inches (in case you’re keeping score at home). Some guy near the bar muttered “That’s deeper than my last relationship,” which got an actual laugh.

The Shipping Thing Is… Kind of Wild

Here’s something I didn’t expect to care about: shipping details for a sex doll. But people were weirdly obsessed with it during the party—maybe it’s a British thing? Free international shipping, apparently; discreet packaging so your neighbors won’t side-eye you forever; takes three weeks to process plus another week to ship.

Someone said they ordered theirs and it arrived looking like an IKEA coffin—plain box, no labels except some cryptic numbers that probably mean nothing unless you work for MI5.

Why Do People Even Talk About This?

Honestly—I mean really—it became some kind of icebreaker game at this party. Everyone wanted to poke its silicone arm or squeeze its C-cup chest (the owner was oddly proud about how “jiggly” she was). And then there was this moment where two people started arguing over whether vaginal or anal sex was more “realistic” on these dolls (for science, I guess).

And before anyone tries to moralize here—the model is definitely over eighteen years old and looks it (if that matters). She weighs roughly as much as a small suitcase, which led to another round of awkward jokes about carrying her up five flights in a Notting Hill walk-up.

Tangent Alert: The Unspoken Competition

This bit might sound off-topic but stick with me—a few people seemed genuinely competitive about who had found better absolute sex dolls online (“Mine has standing feet!” / “Mine came with lingerie!” etc.). You’d think we were talking about vintage cars or rare sneakers instead of synthetic companions.

For me? It all felt slightly annoying by hour three because everyone kept circling back to specs like they were building their own robot army instead of just admitting they wanted company that doesn’t argue over brunch spots.

A Quick Glance Back Before Ghosting Out

Did I expect to spend my Saturday night discussing hole depths and silicone softness while holding someone else’s drink? No. Did it happen anyway? Absolutely yes—and now I can never unhear some of those conversations.

I left before anyone tried dancing with her again (yes, really happened), wondering if next time parties will feature even stranger guests—or maybe just more honest ones.

Anyway… London mansion parties aren’t boring anymore—just unexpectedly technical sometimes.